Hints of Hope

“Blessed are you who are elastic and ever-flexible,

For you will not be broken by change.

Your new wine skins shall bulge but not burst

When filled with God’s intoxicating new wine.

“Blessed are you who are ambivalent, who can embrace the inconsistencies of life in love and hate, the good and the bad, indeed all,

For you shall not become religious fanatics.

“…Look around… you live in the Kingdom and God’s Day has dawned”

(Excerpt from Fr. Eduard Hayes’ Blesseds in his “Gospel of Gabriel”)

 

Thank You, Lord, for ambivalence!  Usually that is characterized as a bad or weak thing.  In my own life, it has meant for me a signal to slow down, to pay more attention to my true/core self.  It often means to “listen” to my gut.  It often means stop.  Sometimes it means “let others deal with their own issues.”  Looking back, I think it usually means I have intended to affirm something, but I have committed too much of myself, or in a way that doesn’t wholly honor the truth of my self.  I am grateful for ambivalence because it helps me pause and remember to notice more of the big picture.

Re flexibility: Thank You, Lord, that You created me stretchable!  Thank You for times of stretching and for times of relaxing.  Thank You for breathable boundaries.  I thank You that I can see “over my fence!”  Thank You also that I am learning that it is good and just to have a “fence.”  Thank You that “even I” may have a “fence.”  Even-so, thank You for “little fences” that don’t block my “view”!

• Praise be Jesus!
• Praise You, my Beloved!
• Praise You this morning, this new day!
• Praise You Now and Forever!
• Praise You Here and everywhere!
• Blessed be Your Holy Name!

Did the Lord really make things to pass?  God certainly made things pass-able.  But God promises to make all things “new.”  God’s love heals, redeems, re-births, sustains, endures.  What in this now could be eternal?  My love for you, Lord.  My response to Your Love is Yes!  I choose You too!

How/why is it that I hope Everyone will come to the Table of the Lord in Heaven?  Why should I want everyone to be saved?  Because God made everyone.  God’s Love brought each person into existence; I desire that they be whole, and I believe part of “being whole” is ongoing living in Love with God.

Is it possible for anyone to really reject God?  I don’t know.  That is not within the realm of my understanding.  God has set for me to love, to respect, to do my small part…  As Fr. H. often said “I’m not on the results committee.”  Mary said one of the biggest “Yes!”‘s the world has ever known.  Her “yes” was entire — whole and open, unconditional.  But even Mary had to let Jesus go into the world and let others encounter Him however they would.

…My stomach has a small twinge of nausea.  What am I worried about?  What brings me anxiety?  I hope to know my responsibilities and to fulfill them.  I don’t want to be caught unprepared.  So, for what am I responsible today?  Only to be.  And to listen.  “Go gently.  Celebrate being.  Ask God ‘Who am I to You?’  Be open to each hint of hope.  Awaken to possibilities, dreams, desires.  Remember to breathe!” (Word from my spiritual director.)  Thank You, God, for the assignment to listen.  I like listening!

Notes while on retreat at St. Joe’s in Cohasset.